Compiled Text Jokes..

First topic message reminder :

hindi sakin na cellphone to.. nakita ku lang din sa sites.. ahehe..


boy: chocolate kba?
girl: iiihhh,banat ba yan?ü
boy: hnd! negra ka kc.hahaha,,

JUAN: aray! bkt mko sinuntok?
PEDRO: tnwg mkong hippopotamus eh!
JUAN: last yir pa un ah!
PEDRO:ngaun ko lng nalaman itsura nun eh!

Customer: Waiter!! bakit ang tagal ng order ko?? ilan ang cook nyo dito??
Waiter: Ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito..Pipse lang..Pipse!!!

togoinkz! nyahahah! maiz!

:bato2:

11 ) TITLE : ANG ANAK AT TATAY || may alagang carabao ang tatay...intusan nya ang anak nya...
ang sabi nila...
tatay : anak painumin mo yung carabao natin...
anak : opo tay...
magkalipas ang dalawang minuto...
anak : tay ayaw naman uminom ng carabao natin...
tatay : bkit?! saan mo b kasi pinainom yung carabao??
anak : sa baso...
tatay : bugok ka pala eh...lagyan mo ng straw...
***

12 ) TITLE : FUTURE FAMILY || I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and
I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing
bothering me... it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister in law was twenty-two, wore very
tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She
would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I
always got more than a pleasant view of her private
parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when
she was near anyone else.
One day "little" sister called and asked me to come
over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone
when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had
feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just
once before I got married and committed my life to her
sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a
word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get
me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go
up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off
her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I
stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing
outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father in law hugged me and
said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test...we couldn't ask for better man for our
daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is : Always keep your condoms in your car.
***

13 ) TITLE : BIYENAN ||
Mr. DJ : Puwede na po kayong manawagan sa inyong nawawalang biyenan sir!
Mr : Tenk yu, Mr DJ
Mr : Ako po'y nananawagan at handang magbigay ng malaking pabuya...
kung sino man ang nakakita o kumukupkop sa aking biyenan...
Mr DJ : Ka-suerteng biyenan, mahal na mahal ng manugang!
Mr : ... kung maaari lang, ilayo niyo na po ito, at iligaw ng tuluyan!
Mr DJ : Lang Ya! ?!
***

14 ) TITLE : PLDT OPERATOR || Isang Araw Habang Nag Papayabangan ang Tatlong Magkakaibigan
Tasyo : Pare alam nyo yung Pinsan ko sa sobrang ganda ng Boses Kinuha Siya sa ABS-CBN para gawing News Broadcaster.
Inggo : Wala yan sa Pinsan ko mga Amigo ko, Yung Pinsan ko sa Sobrang Ganda ng Boses ini Laban kay Regine Velasquez sa Singing Contest.
Teban : Aba ang Ganda naman pala ng boses ng mga pinsan nyo mga Igan ko! Pero wala parin yan dun sa pinsan ko mga Pare ko. Yung Pinsan ko NGO-NGO pero kinuha ng PLDT para gawing Telephone Operator!
Tasyo : Paano naman nangyari yon?
Inggo : Oo nga naman pare!
Teban : Oo mga pare ko, Siya yung sumasagot pag Busy yung Telepono. NGO... NGO... NGO...
***

15 ) TITLE : MAYAMAN AT PULUBE ||
Q : sino ang pinakamahirap dito sa mundo ???
A : e dih, ung bulag 'kase wala kita'
Q : sino ang mayaman dito sa mundo ???
A : e dih ung duling 'kase duble kita'
Q : sino naman ang pinakamayaman dito sa mundo ???
A : e dih ung bold star dancer 'kase lahat kita',,,ajeje
***

16 ) TITLE : KANTO TINIO ST. ||
bakit natatakot bumaba ang mga babae sa jeep sa kanto ng TINIO ST. sa San Pablo?
ANS : Kasi ang sigaw ng driver "O yung bababa, KANTO TINIO NA!
***

17 ) TITLE : MATH || Mom : baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby : sure mom
Mom : if your daddy gives you 3apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby : thank you po!!!
***

18 ) TITLE : ANG TAMBAY AT ANG SCIENTIST || Isang scientist at isang tambay ang nag-uusap.
TAMBAY : Bay, use the word "surface" in a sentence.
SCIENTIST : Ha?
Biglang napakamot ang scientist at halatang nahihirapan masagot ang tanong ng tambay. Para hindi mapahiya, sumagot siya pagkatapos maalala ang natutuhan niya sa geometry.
SCIENTIST : According to mathematics especially in topography, a surface two-dimensional manifold.
TAMBAY : Grabe, ang lalim naman ng sagot mo, eh use "surface" in a sentence lang naman.
SCIENTIST : O, sige nga. Ikaw nga sumagot ng tanong mo.
TAMBAY : Simple lang. HOW CAN YOU FACE YOUR PROBLEM IF YOUR PROBLEM IS SURFACE. O, di ba. English pa yun! SCIENTIST : Ngee!
***
19 ) TITLE : KARE-KARE AT BABAE ||
TANONG : Ano ang kaibahan ng kare-kare at babae?
SAGOT : Ang kare-kare pag kinain, may giniling na mani.. Ang babae gumigiling pag kinakain ang mani..
***
20 ) TITLE : HIGHTECH || Nagkasama sina Bush, Blair at GMA sa isang eroplano, nagyayabangan ng mga bagong gadgets si Bush at Blair.
Bush : This is my latest gadget mini palm top connected thru satellite, anywhere I'll be, I can access to White House on my database anytime.
Blair : ( kinuha ang isang pen like sa pocket ) This is mine, you think it's a pen but this a wireless phone, connected thru satellite and it has an monitoring device. ( Biglang may umutot )
GMA : Opppss sorry!!! Ringing now, I'm just sending fax message to Malacañang. Nyahah a lusot ang pandakekok!

hehe nabasa ko ata yan sa pwap, tnt... hahahahahahaha.. :katon:

hehehe.. dun ku nga kinukuha iba na ganyan.. tnt.. share din kau para masaya..

Cge cge.. Padamihan ng jokes.. Hehehe.. Pagandahan dn ng jokes..

wala akong jokes eh, uhhnn..

e2 nalang

anong hayop ang nagtatanong??



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baka???? tnt


uhnnn.. dami tawa

buti na lang di ku problema yan.. nyahaha..

ahahhahha... ganun ba yun? mgcover lang ng Eyes.. ahhahha

Hehe.. Matindi jan kung gnun na nga, tas pti ugali ganun din.. Ahehehe..

Ay.. Ahihi..

uhm.. Ala pa tau bagong joke? Hehehe..

good joke!!

hahahaha ang sakit ng tiyan ko dun sa hippopotamus^^ ahehehe late reaction na ba ako?!